Monday, 10 June 2013

Review: The Poison Diaries

The Poison Diaries/ Maryrose Wood and Jane Northumberland

What is this? What did I just read?
If only the cover wasn't calling for me, I wouldn't buy a book like this. Heck, even the back of the copy I got had no summary. Well, we'll get to everything in this review-- of doom.

Wait, what was the plot? Was it:
a)Jasmine finding a boy she likes
b)the talking plants
c)psycho Weed
d)dreams
e)angels and death
f)why not trust your own father

The last one could be the title for this novel, I promise you.

Plot:
As I said, I have no idea what this book was about. I'm really lost here. Well, let's go every plot I could find:
a)The romance was really poorly made. It was one of the many reasons why I skipped through the pages in the last 30% of the book. I don't think I missed anything.
Jasmine and Weed are engaged at 16/17 (Jasmine is younger in one year, or so she believes), and they are like "oh let's marry because daddy said it's okay!"
Why. Did. I. Bother.
b)The idea was actually pretty good! If you didn't enter it 65% into the book, I would be able to enjoy it. And that was the only thing I liked and that's why it gets a star! A star!
c)Weed was hearing plants and shit. He was all "oh no, Jasmine is going to die because of me!"
Dude, calm your tits! Talk to the plants and get a cure.
d)I just skipped it. I didn't feel it was important anyway.
e)I think that there was some kind of angel in the end. I think.
f) Please kill me. Now.

Writing:
Okay, I think that if you want to write in a poetic way, you should read poems, write poems, live poems and hell, even eat and breath poems (please don't do that literally. You'll get poisoned from the ink)! It doesn't seem that wood can hold a lyrical writing. Bleh.

Characters:
So not interesting characters. Jasmine is a doormat, Wood is a whiny baby and the professor is a bad papa. They were dull and boring and were really flat.


Plants:
The only part I loved of the book. I like how the plants help to build the athmosphere of the story, that was not so long after the success of the Revalotionary American War (as the profesor states) which means that the story happens 1783, in an old setting, with a lot to research.
The plants bold out that the man kind doesn't always listen around him. If it was an actual message in the story, I liked it.


Overall:
Don't bother picking up this book, unless you just want a pretty book on the shelf for others to see.

1 STAR

Recommended to:
-people who don't really have a life
(sorry if it's harsh)

Liked:
-PLANTS! <3

Disliked:
-Everything else

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